Depth report

　　

The long history of the development of family businesses has shown that the close relationships, loyalty and commitment that link the family together can also explain the success of family businesses.

    This model is undoubtedly effective in Donald Trump. The new American president joined his father’s real estate company when he was young, and his three older children—Donald Jr, Ivanka, and Eric— Served in management positions in a family business that has become a multinational group. Both sons and son-in-law Jared Kushner played key roles in Trump's presidential campaign and transition team.

    But the ups and downs of Trump's companies over the past years reflect another truth about family businesses. Statistics show that only 30% of family businesses are passed on to the next generation.

    Psychoanalyst and Insead Business School (Insead Business School) Leadership Development and Organizational Change Professor Manfred Kets de Vries (Manfred Kets de Vries) in "Family Business on the Sofa" (Family Business on The Couch says that simply looking at performance cannot explain why so many companies fail. Unresolved family disputes and unconscious motives of individuals often lead to communication failures and escalation of conflicts.

    In my psychotherapy treatment, I have seen how suppressed jealousy, rivalry between hands and feet, or long-standing resentment can cause serious damage in the family business. The typical situation is that difficult conversations are avoided because it may lead to discord and openness, but paradoxically, this may also lead to a crisis in the relationship between family members.

    Tom Davidow is a family therapist and family business consultant working in Boston, Massachusetts. For more than 30 years, he has witnessed the traps that family businesses can fall into when family members’ relationships have problems.

    He said: "If you follow high-standard business practices, you will have a high probability of building a successful family." Dr. Davido has given serious warnings to family businesses that deviate from this path-the possibility of such deviations Bring serious consequences. "But if you make decisions based on the family's approach in a business, you will destroy the business atmosphere of the business, and at the same time may have an adverse effect on the family atmosphere. You will be at risk of losing your family and business."

    He believes that family businesses can operate effectively over a long period of time, but problems often arise when the company has gone through the early stage of entrepreneurship and faced development challenges. The communication patterns between family members are so ingrained that pressing business issues cannot be effectively discussed—discussing these issues can feel too dangerous and destructive.

    Dr. Davido said: "They decided,'There is no need to tell my brother what he did bother me', because if that issue has to be discussed, all other issues will be brought up. They are afraid of it, they They don’t want to hold a family meeting because they worry that it will cause everything to erupt together."

    Directly facing the tensions within the family may cause individuals to feel unbearable and worry about retaliation and rejection from others. But the real danger is that the most critical problem is ignored, and the home business will suffer.

    There is a family who is struggling to deal with such problems, and their manufacturing enterprises can still continue to operate, but the growing jealousy and feelings of injustice and inequality have severely affected the personal relationships between family members.

    The second son of the family—he came to me to seek psychotherapy—in the end stopped talking to his father, and at the same time the conflict with his brother was further intensified. His parents’ ignorance of his emotional appeals in his early years, as well as his father and elder brother’s controlling and powerful behavior at work, completely shattered his self-confidence.

    "The family business has ruined my kinship for many years," he said. "I think they treat me as an object of charity, and it feels like'we bring him because he can't do anything else'. My brother regards that company as his own child and thinks I will Will divide the property he will inherit."

    The degree of inequality is so great that the two brothers are called "heirs and spare tires" within the family, recreating the family history of the previous generation. Their grandfather, who was also the founder of the family business, left most of his property to his son, and gave only a small amount of money to his daughter, who didn't take him seriously. Later, his father prepared to repeat this distribution model, paying wages according to the expenditure needs of the two sons rather than their value, which is almost unheard of in normal business operations.

    "Because my brother is married and has a child, his salary is several times higher than the salary I get, which further deepens my resentment. I was a bachelor at the time, and my salary reflects this."

    His anger, suppressed by being excluded from the "core team" of the family business, was passively expressed by not speaking to his father or seeking his opinions.

    "This is an act of revenge," he explained. "If you ignore me, I will ignore you too."

    Sometimes, children may join the family business in order to repair the damaged relationship with their parents. For example, a man who came to me for psychotherapy joined his father's retail business in order to make up for the affection and identity he lost when his parents divorced.

      The conflation of family affairs and business goals is the cause of many of these problems. Families are concerned with people’s emotional well-being, as well as issues related to love and belonging, while businesses are mainly concerned with economic success. Families look at problems more introverted and usually resist change, while companies require innovation and focus on external events for success.

    Any family business that wants to pass on to the next generation must sort out this conflict of interest.